AUTOBIOGRAPHY

My name is Trinity Valentine and I was born on Valentine Day in 1986 at Illinois Masonic hospital. Coincidence? No. My dad always told me that his name was way too worn out and that I should have my own last name, kind of like Joan of Arc. So that’s how I became Trinity Valentine. I was an only child to my mom and dad, and that’s why I was named Trinity because I completed the family. I grew up on a busy street in the middle of Chicago, in a neighborhood that was also known as Boys-Town. I don’t say that in a bad way either, because I grew up accepting everyone. I was a very outgoing and bright young girl that just grew up way too fast. I loved all kinds of music and all kinds of people.

By the age of six I was outside selling my own art post cards in front of our house for fifty cents a piece. Hey at that age that kinda money took me a long way! I went everywhere my dad did and he introduced me to everyone that was anyone. I discussed art and death with Jack Kervorkian, read stories with Ken Kesey, and made music with Lester Bowie. For many years I have wanted to sit down and write an autobiography, but I never knew where I wanted to start. There are a lot of gaps in my childhood and a lot of he said she said. But today I will try to tell it from my point of view, gaps and all.

Like I said, there are many gaps in my childhood. But I remember some of the times at home... some good and some bad. It was definitely not easy growing up, being me. My dad and I had a weird relationship. Its complicated, but I will explain the best I can. My dad had the notion that I should grow up learning from my mistakes and learning freely... but at the same time he wanted a certain life for me. Not that it was bad... I mean come on, what six year old doesn't wanna be able to say she read books with ken Kesey!! But when you get down to it, sometimes I wish I hadn’t done all of those things. Sometimes I wish I was just a normal kid. I wanted to play Barbie's and have tea parties with my friends. I wanted to be a little girl while I still could. But I didn’t have the chance to do any of that because I had to be an adult and keep my family from falling apart. My mom and dad were constantly fighting about something and I was usually in the middle of it. My dad was a very intimidating abusive man. Not that my mom didn’t have a part in setting him off but there’s still no reason to act the way he did. Sometimes he scared the shit out me... and he still does. My dad has the power to scare anyone away with just a look. It's sad that when I look back I have to remember all the fighting and screaming, but that’s what I lived with. Life is full of ups and downs and I guess you could say it was all worth it because that’s just one of those things that makes me stronger today. I love both my parents, but I was always afraid. I lived in fear of waking up and not knowing what would happen next.

I was home schooled until I was in 4th grade and I never really had many friends. I mean I had my share, but they were mainly all adults. I remember getting up in the morning by myself. My mom always seemed to be working and my dad always seemed to be sleeping. Being a photographer my dad had no set schedule. Sometimes he would wake up at 12 and sometimes at 4. So I would get up and read and study and draw. Right from the start I decided I didn’t like math, or science, or even history. So good... that only leaves reading and writing. By probably age seven I was reading books that weighed more than me, and I loved nothing more than writing my own little stories. At night my dad and I would go everywhere together. He took me with him when he went to photograph, so I met a lot of famous people in my days. A lot of kids my age don’t even know who these people are, but I do. I went with him to jazz clubs, book stores and concerts all the time. He taught me how to develop photos with him in his darkroom and constantly let me model for him.

When I was younger, one of the things they always argued about was school. My dad wanted me to be home schooled and my mom wanted me in public school. I didn’t know what I wanted. So when I was about 8 I was put into public school. Wow... was that different for me! I was mixed in with all these kids who I didn’t like very much and teachers that told me what to do all the time. They were terrible! They made me learn math. I was very disoriented, if you want to call it that, and eventually they told me I needed counseling or they couldn’t teach me. So I got kicked out of my first school.

When my mom and I moved out of my dad’s we constantly struggled. We were on our own. We had no car, and not too much money. We were always moving, at least three or four times a year. So every new apartment meant new schools which meant new friends... or so I thought. By that point I was so torn inside that I wasn’t the outgoing friendly little girl I had once been. So the fact that no one liked me only made it harder for me to cope. These friends that I longed for all my life weren’t as great as I had thought. Well, maybe I hadn’t really missed out too bad then.

It finally got too hard for us, so my mom decided we should make a final move that would definitely better our situation. We moved to Ohio to live with my grandma and have time to get on our feet. I know I haven’t really mentioned my father in a while but I really didn’t see too much of him at this point of my life. Yes, I definitely missed him, but there were too many conflicts with that whole situation. It was hard being away from him but maybe things were really going to work out for me this time.

I started fifth grade at Greenview elementary and it wasn’t really half bad. I guess you could say I was your typical teenager now... almost. There I met Jesse. WOW... so this is what this friend thing was really about, huh? Me and her were like two peas in a pod. We were inseparable. We were in the chorus together, we went to dances and did all those things that eight year olds do. I had lots of friends now! We had a big group, but our crew really consisted of Eric and Lee. We were loved by some and hated by many. Me and Jesse usually hung out with the guys. We were always one of the guys. There were very few females we hung out with because we weren’t your typical girls. We liked sports and playing in the woods, All the other girls liked to do was hang out at the mall and gossip.

Across the street from my grandma was a couple with a little boy named Max that I always babysat for. Now when kids are younger they come up with these crazy ideas that they want to be firefighters and policemen, but it rarely ever turns out that way. When I was younger I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. I was in love with those beautiful creatures and still am. So as kids our minds change every month about what we want to do when we grow up, just like our fashion sense changes every month when we become a teenager. Once I started babysitting for Max I fell in love with him, and from that moment on I knew what I had to do. I needed to work with kids.

So I guess you could say I finally got my wish. Maybe my parents didn’t get back together, and I moved a lot, but I was a kid again. I played Barbies, and I had friends. But most stories don’t have that fairy tale ending you’re taught when you’re younger, and all good things must come to an end. It was time to go again. So there I was making one of many more moves in my life.

Now I can’t forget about David, because he was and still is a huge part of my life. My mom met him when we were still living at home. He owned the parking lot next door and he was also our janitor. Yeah I know what you’re thinking. (Duh!) He brought his kids around for me to play with and he brought me sunflower seeds all the time. His daughter Jess was the same age as me, Robin two years younger, and Matthew was one year younger. Now I wanted my parents back together just like any kid, but there was no denying it... they just weren’t meant to be together. I became very attached to David and his kids; they were like the brothers and sisters I always hoped for but never got. I love them with all my heart and they are family to me and always will be. My dad to this day still can’t accept that. But then again, what father that had his daughter taken away would want another man in her life! No one will ever take my father's place, but I wish he would understand that I can love whoever I want.

See, I have learned to forgive but never forget. If I didn’t have enough love in my heart to forgive my dad for all he’s done to me I wouldn’t have any sort of relationship with him. I have grown up learning that people make mistakes and you don’t need to be mad at them for it, but stick by their side through it all. Now I would never ask my dad to be friends with David, but at least I would ask that he accept the fact that I’m a big girl and I can choose who is in my life.

So throughout all the moving and all the problems, David and my mom stuck together. When I was in 7th grade we finally tried to move in together, which for me was great. I like David and I thought they were good together. But even better for me I would have sisters. It was like a never-ending sleep over and since I had never had that, it was great. Now us kids hung out all the time. We went to Chuck-E-Cheese and movies and played Barbie's all the time. But like any other younger kids, I guess they felt that my mom and I were intruding. It became a constant battle and they tried to push me away. They would make fun of me and constantly torture me and pick on me. When I started school that year, things just got worse for me.

We lived in Chicago in a not so good neighborhood. It wasn’t as bad as some Chicago neighborhoods, but then again it wasn’t the best. Somehow I always attracted the wrong crowd. I guess it was just me trying to fit in so I didn’t care who I was with as long as people liked me. Now I had experimented with pot years before and I hung out with the occasional bad seeds, but I wasn’t really a bad kid. So I started hanging out with these two girl’s, Christy and Sabrina, and their friends. I guess they were in a gang. Yes, I was with the Simon City Royals. Pretty lame, huh? So from then on things started to go down the hill for me, and David and my mom started fighting a lot. They thought that I was a bad influence on his kids, and on top of that it’s hard to raise four kids together that grew up differently.

From that point on we decided that we should move to a suburb in Chicago. It was known for the safest schools ever and good neighborhoods. Sounds ok, I guess. So we moved to Skokie and I thought things would get better but I wasn’t surprised when they only got worse.


	TRINITY VALENTINE MY BOOK Chapter One "Baby Makes Three" My name is Trinity Valentine and I was born on Valentine Day in 1986 at Illinois Masonic hospital. Coincidence? No. My dad always told me that his name was way too worn out and that I should have my own last name, kind of like Joan of Arc. So that’s how I became Trinity Valentine. I was an only child to my mom and dad, and that’s why I was named Trinity because I completed the family. I grew up on a busy street in the middle of Chicago, in a neighborhood that was also known as Boys-Town. I don’t say that in a bad way either, because I grew up accepting everyone. I was a very outgoing and bright young girl that just grew up way too fast. I loved all kinds of music and all kinds of people. By the age of six I was outside selling my own art post cards in front of our house for fifty cents a piece. Hey at that age that kinda money took me a long way! I went everywhere my dad did and he introduced me to everyone that was anyone. I discussed art and death with Jack Kervorkian, read stories with Ken Kesey, and made music with Lester Bowie. For many years I have wanted to sit down and write an autobiography, but I never knew where I wanted to start. There are a lot of gaps in my childhood and a lot of he said she said. But today I will try to tell it from my point of view, gaps and all. Chapter Two "Home Sweet Home" Like I said, there are many gaps in my childhood. But I remember some of the times at home... some good and some bad. It was definitely not easy growing up, being me. My dad and I had a weird relationship. Its complicated, but I will explain the best I can. My dad had the notion that I should grow up learning from my mistakes and learning freely... but at the same time he wanted a certain life for me. Not that it was bad... I mean come on, what six year old doesn't wanna be able to say she read books with ken Kesey!! But when you get down to it, sometimes I wish I hadn’t done all of those things. Sometimes I wish I was just a normal kid. I wanted to play Barbie's and have tea parties with my friends. I wanted to be a little girl while I still could. But I didn’t have the chance to do any of that because I had to be an adult and keep my family from falling apart. My mom and dad were constantly fighting about something and I was usually in the middle of it. My dad was a very intimidating abusive man. Not that my mom didn’t have a part in setting him off but there’s still no reason to act the way he did. Sometimes he scared the shit out me... and he still does. My dad has the power to scare anyone away with just a look. It's sad that when I look back I have to remember all the fighting and screaming, but that’s what I lived with. Life is full of ups and downs and I guess you could say it was all worth it because that’s just one of those things that makes me stronger today. I love both my parents, but I was always afraid. I lived in fear of waking up and not knowing what would happen next. I was home schooled until I was in 4th grade and I never really had many friends. I mean I had my share, but they were mainly all adults. I remember getting up in the morning by myself. My mom always seemed to be working and my dad always seemed to be sleeping. Being a photographer my dad had no set schedule. Sometimes he would wake up at 12 and sometimes at 4. So I would get up and read and study and draw. Right from the start I decided I didn’t like math, or science, or even history. So good... that only leaves reading and writing. By probably age seven I was reading books that weighed more than me, and I loved nothing more than writing my own little stories. At night my dad and I would go everywhere together. He took me with him when he went to photograph, so I met a lot of famous people in my days. A lot of kids my age don’t even know who these people are, but I do. I went with him to jazz clubs, book stores and concerts all the time. He taught me how to develop photos with him in his darkroom and constantly let me model for him. When I was younger, one of the things they always argued about was school. My dad wanted me to be home schooled and my mom wanted me in public school. I didn’t know what I wanted. So when I was about 8 I was put into public school. Wow... was that different for me! I was mixed in with all these kids who I didn’t like very much and teachers that told me what to do all the time. They were terrible! They made me learn math. I was very disoriented, if you want to call it that, and eventually they told me I needed counseling or they couldn’t teach me. So I got kicked out of my first school. Chapter Three "On Our Own" When my mom and I moved out of my dad’s we constantly struggled. We were on our own. We had no car, and not too much money. We were always moving, at least three or four times a year. So every new apartment meant new schools which meant new friends... or so I thought. By that point I was so torn inside that I wasn’t the outgoing friendly little girl I had once been. So the fact that no one liked me only made it harder for me to cope. These friends that I longed for all my life weren’t as great as I had thought. Well, maybe I hadn’t really missed out too bad then. It finally got too hard for us, so my mom decided we should make a final move that would definitely better our situation. We moved to Ohio to live with my grandma and have time to get on our feet. I know I haven’t really mentioned my father in a while but I really didn’t see too much of him at this point of my life. Yes, I definitely missed him, but there were too many conflicts with that whole situation. It was hard being away from him but maybe things were really going to work out for me this time. I started fifth grade at Greenview elementary and it wasn’t really half bad. I guess you could say I was your typical teenager now... almost. There I met Jesse. WOW... so this is what this friend thing was really about, huh? Me and her were like two peas in a pod. We were inseparable. We were in the chorus together, we went to dances and did all those things that eight year olds do. I had lots of friends now! We had a big group, but our crew really consisted of Eric and Lee. We were loved by some and hated by many. Me and Jesse usually hung out with the guys. We were always one of the guys. There were very few females we hung out with because we weren’t your typical girls. We liked sports and playing in the woods, All the other girls liked to do was hang out at the mall and gossip. Across the street from my grandma was a couple with a little boy named Max that I always babysat for. Now when kids are younger they come up with these crazy ideas that they want to be firefighters and policemen, but it rarely ever turns out that way. When I was younger I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. I was in love with those beautiful creatures and still am. So as kids our minds change every month about what we want to do when we grow up, just like our fashion sense changes every month when we become a teenager. Once I started babysitting for Max I fell in love with him, and from that moment on I knew what I had to do. I needed to work with kids. So I guess you could say I finally got my wish. Maybe my parents didn’t get back together, and I moved a lot, but I was a kid again. I played Barbies, and I had friends. But most stories don’t have that fairy tale ending you’re taught when you’re younger, and all good things must come to an end. It was time to go again. So there I was making one of many more moves in my life. Chapter Four "The Family I Never Had" Now I can’t forget about David, because he was and still is a huge part of my life. My mom met him when we were still living at home. He owned the parking lot next door and he was also our janitor. Yeah I know what you’re thinking. (Duh!) He brought his kids around for me to play with and he brought me sunflower seeds all the time. His daughter Jess was the same age as me, Robin two years younger, and Matthew was one year younger. Now I wanted my parents back together just like any kid, but there was no denying it... they just weren’t meant to be together. I became very attached to David and his kids; they were like the brothers and sisters I always hoped for but never got. I love them with all my heart and they are family to me and always will be. My dad to this day still can’t accept that. But then again, what father that had his daughter taken away would want another man in her life! No one will ever take my father's place, but I wish he would understand that I can love whoever I want. See, I have learned to forgive but never forget. If I didn’t have enough love in my heart to forgive my dad for all he’s done to me I wouldn’t have any sort of relationship with him. I have grown up learning that people make mistakes and you don’t need to be mad at them for it, but stick by their side through it all. Now I would never ask my dad to be friends with David, but at least I would ask that he accept the fact that I’m a big girl and I can choose who is in my life. So throughout all the moving and all the problems, David and my mom stuck together. When I was in 7th grade we finally tried to move in together, which for me was great. I like David and I thought they were good together. But even better for me I would have sisters. It was like a never-ending sleep over and since I had never had that, it was great. Now us kids hung out all the time. We went to Chuck-E-Cheese and movies and played Barbie's all the time. But like any other younger kids, I guess they felt that my mom and I were intruding. It became a constant battle and they tried to push me away. They would make fun of me and constantly torture me and pick on me. When I started school that year, things just got worse for me. We lived in Chicago in a not so good neighborhood. It wasn’t as bad as some Chicago neighborhoods, but then again it wasn’t the best. Somehow I always attracted the wrong crowd. I guess it was just me trying to fit in so I didn’t care who I was with as long as people liked me. Now I had experimented with pot years before and I hung out with the occasional bad seeds, but I wasn’t really a bad kid. So I started hanging out with these two girl’s, Christy and Sabrina, and their friends. I guess they were in a gang. Yes, I was with the Simon City Royals. Pretty lame, huh? So from then on things started to go down the hill for me, and David and my mom started fighting a lot. They thought that I was a bad influence on his kids, and on top of that it’s hard to raise four kids together that grew up differently. From that point on we decided that we should move to a suburb in Chicago. It was known for the safest schools ever and good neighborhoods. Sounds ok, I guess. So we moved to Skokie and I thought things would get better but I wasn’t surprised when they only got worse. Stay Tuned for Chapter Five